


Your Friendly Neighborhood Cooking Cat

by WordWall



Category: a hat in time
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Homelessness, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Starvation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24226915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordWall/pseuds/WordWall
Summary: Cooking Cat encounters a strange, mustached child.
Relationships: Cooking Cat & Mustache Girl (A Hat in Time)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	Your Friendly Neighborhood Cooking Cat

It was a rare day off for cooking cat. Normally, she’d be up at the mafia headquarters making sure nobody died at the hands of the mafia-made food or filming an episode of her cooking show. Earlier that night, however, she’d put in a few hours extra and made enough food to last the week, or at least a few hours. There were an awful lot of mafia, and they went through meals like crazy. But for now, she was just going to enjoy her time off. 

She had decided to head down to the shore for a walk, as Mafia Town itself was overrun with, well, mafia, and Cooking Cat wanted some  _ relaxation  _ during her break.

And the mafia were not exactly the most  _ relaxing  _ of people to be around. I’m fact, most of them had a tendency to be needlessly violent, messy, not the brightest, and were generally unpleasant people, and Cooking Cat was more than happy to get away from them. 

As she walked, she began to feel the crunching of gravel under her feet, then rocks, until she’d arrived at the rocky shores of Mafia Town. Down here, the air was a lot fresher-less of that rotting fish and meat smell-and from the shore, you could see the vast ocean that flowed out for miles. It was also a pretty good view of the hot air balloons that were always up in the air. It was a pretty nice spot, away from all the chaos and noise and violent assaults on islanders.  _ I wonder why the other islanders don’t come here as often _ , Cooking Cat thought to herself.  _ It’s actually pretty nice. _ Although, she supposed that just about anything was nicer than Mafia Town. She leaned forward a bit, feeling the breeze rustle her fur, and something below her caught her eye. She could make out a light coming from the land below her. Curious, Cooking Cat clambered down to the sand below her, and turned to see a small cave, a bonfire, and- a girl? 

A small, mustached girl was huddled by the fire. She was rather small (which was accentuated by her long, rather baggy hood) and small tears dwelled in the corners of her eyes. Her head snapped up, seemingly startled by Cooking Cat’s appearance. She stood up quickly, visibly tense. 

“Who are you?!” She shouted, assuming somewhat of a fighting stance. Cooking Cat put her paws up in a peaceful gesture. “Whoa, calm down there kitten. I ain’t gonna bite ya,” she said with a reassuring smile. “I’m just your friendly neighborhood Cooking Cat!” She gave the girl a friendly wink. 

“....Cooking Cat?” She said, a bit calmer. 

“Yeah! I’m the Mafia HQ’s resident chef! Not that they ever acknowledge my work….” 

“You work for the mafia?!” The girl shouted, quickly reassuming her defensive stance. Cooking Cat chuckled. 

“Hey, I’d work somewhere else if I could, but uh… the mafia aren’t exactly…. the best chefs. I’m fairly certain someone would die if they ate the mafia-prepared food. I can’t let anyone get sick.” 

She looked down at the girl. She couldn’t help noticing how thin and small she was, and Cooking Cat frowned a bit. “What’re ya doin’ down here, anyway?” 

“.....I live here.” 

“Really?”

Cooking Cat eyed the cave. It didn’t look like much of a living space. It was awfully empty, aside from the strange mustached girl and the fire. No walls, no furniture, no appliances,  _ no food-  _

“Where are your parents, kitten? Surely they didn’t leave you alone down here.”

The girl was silent. She looked down at the ground, not meeting Cooking Cat’s eye.

“....they’re not around anymore.”

“Oh. That’s… that’s terrible, kitten.” She said, gazing sympathetically at the girl. She couldn’t imagine what it must be like losing your parents at such a young age.

The girl didn’t say anything. After a few moments, she sat back on the ground by the fire. Cooking Cat looked around the empty cave some more. “...This place is awful empty. Don’t you have any furniture or anything? Or any food, or-“

“No. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, lady, but the mafia live in this town. You really think they let me keep  _ anything? _ ” 

Cooking Cat was silent for a second, taking in this bit of information. She’d always know that the mafia were cruel and needlessly violent, but she’d never thought that they were cruel enough to force a  _ child  _ to live on the streets. Sure, they were evil, but certainly they couldn’t be  _ that  _ heartless. Or so she’d always assumed. Though it appeared that wasn’t the case. 

“I… That’s terrible. I’m very sorry about that.” 

The girl glared at Cooking Cat.

“Look lady, I’m a bit busy here. I’ve got a job I need to take care of, and it’s a pretty big deal, and I really don’t have time to sit around and chit-chat. So if you don’t need anything, I’d appreciate it if you’d leave so I can start planning in peace.” 

Cooking Cat put her paws up in front of her. “Alright, alright, I can see you want your space.” She turned to leave, but as she did, a thought struck her. “Actually... wait a moment.” 

“What is it now?!” The girl growled, giving her a deadly glare.

“Hold on a second, kitten. I promise I’ll get out of your hair as soon as possible, but I’d just like to do something first.” 

The girl gave an exasperated sigh. “.....fine. What is it?”

Cooking Cat reached up for her chef’s hat and, with a flourish, snatched the hat from her head, revealing a large platter of chicken and vegetables that had been hidden under her hat, which she handed to the girl. “Here ya go kitten! On the house!” She gave a friendly wink. The girl looked at the plate, then back up at Cooking Cat. Her anger had gone, and she now looked rather taken aback.

“...I…..is this..for me?”

“Yup! You’re gonna need your strength for your mission, ya know. And you look like you could really use some nutrition!”

The girl took the plate from her. She stared at it for a bit, seeming a bit dazed. After a few moments of silence, she mumbled a “thanks.” 

“No problem!” 

The girl sat down with her plate of food. She plucked a chicken wing off the plate, and took a bite out of it. She chewed a bit, and paused. Cooking cat cocked her head a bit. 

“Something wrong? Not your thing, kitten?”

The girl didn’t respond for a second, then she grabbed her tray, and in one bite, ate the whole meal, plate and all. Cooking Cat jumped back a bit, letting out a startled yowl. Then she grinned. “Sooooo you like it then?” 

The kid grinned and gave her a thumbs up, seemingly a lot more cheerful now that she’d eaten. Cooking Cat sat down by the fire. 

“Say, what’s your name, kitten?”

“Mustache girl.”

“Mustache girl, ay?” Huh. Weird name. Then again, she was quite a weird child in general, it seemed.

“Yup,” Mustache Girl responded, leaning back against the cave wall. 

“Alright then, Mustache Girl,” Cooking Cat said, “if you don’t mind me asking, what exactly is this ‘job’ of yours that you were talking about?” 

The girl jumped to her feet. 

“Well! How nice of you to ask.” She pointed to some writing on the back of the cave wall that read, “Mafia Sabotage,” as well as a bunch of tally marks. Cooking Cat cocked her head.

“‘Mafia Sabotage?’”

“Yeah!! I’m working on my ultimate plan to defeat the mafia! Sure, I’m missing a few things most rebellions need; teammates, weapons, training, etc., but I’ll make it work! I’ve already got a few plans drafted! Wanna see?” She ran up to Cooking Cat and rattled some sheets of paper in her face, startling Cooking Cat, and causing her to arch her back in surprise, before she quickly recovered. “Uh….sure.” 

“Okay, okay!” Mustache Girl said, before excitedly pulling a paper from the top of the stack, scattering papers everywhere in her excitement. She held it out to Cooking Cat. The paper contained a rather gorey drawing of the mafia being devoured by a shark. 

“I was thinking that I would defeat the mafia boss, and after that I’ll be the new boss of the mafia, and I can make them do whatever I want! At first I was thinking I’d make them all walk into the ocean, where they’d get eaten by sharks, but then I thought ‘no, that’s way too generous.’ Plus, those poor sharks might get sick from eating all those mafia goons. Soooo….” She gathered up the fallen papers and held them out, “I came up with some better ideas!” The plans Mustache Girl listed off became increasingly more violent and gorey as she listed them off, and Cooking Cat was becoming increasingly more concerned for this child as she went on. Once Mustache Girl was finished, she turned to Cooking Cat with a big grin on her face. “So! What do you think of my ultimate revenge plan?”

“Uh….”

Cooking Cat wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

“Well...overthrowing the mafia boss is a good idea! But the rest….”

“What’s wrong with the rest?”

“Nothing, nothing! It just….could use a bit more work, kitten. Every plan does.” She said, giving Mustache Girl a smile, though it was a bit less genuine than before.

Mustache girl frowned in annoyance. “Ok, whatever. Anyways, I guess I should still train up a bit. The mafia are seriously dumb, but they’re still pretty strong, and there’s an awful lot of them.” 

There was some silence between them for a while in which Mustache Girl stared thoughtfully into the fire, and Cooking Cat felt a great deal of concern for this mustached child. Then Mustache Girl spoke up.

“....thank you for the food earlier,” she said, a lot quieter than before. 

“Oh! Of course, kitten! I couldn’t let anyone go hungry,” said Cooking Cat, giving her a warm smile.

“You know, if ya ever need food, you can find me at Mafia HQ. Won’t cost you a cent, I promise!”

“Oh….Thanks.” The girl said, staring at the floor. Cooking Cat placed a hand on the girl’s head and stroked it over her hair. Mustache Girl looked a bit annoyed by this, but didn’t say anything. A moment later, Cooking Cat stood up. “Well, I don’t have anymore business here, so I’ll be out of your hair now.” She waved at the girl as she left the cave. “See ya, kitten! Good luck with your rebellion!” With that, she strolled off across the shore. 

Mustache Girl watched as the cat stroll off. “Bye,” she said in a whisper. She sat in silence for a while, before turning to the wall where ‘mafia sabotage’ had been written. She pulled a piece of red chalk from the back of her hoodie and made a tally, marking off another day. 

  
  
  



End file.
